The dating coach industry has exploded in recent years—thanks, TikTok—but let’s be real: not every “expert” is worth your time (or your money). Sure, this surge has made dating advice more accessible, but it’s also unleashed a wave of self-proclaimed “gurus” who often lack the training or experience to offer real, transformative guidance.

So, how do you sift through the noise and find the real deal? It all comes down to doing your homework. To help you out, here are four essential things to consider before hiring a dating coach.

1. Do They Have the Results You’re Looking For?

If you’re looking for epic love, you probably don’t want to be taking advice from someone who’s perpetually single and still “figuring it out” themselves. Sure, single coaches might be great at helping you flirt or survive the first date, but if you want a meaningful, long-term relationship, I’d suggest looking for a coach who’s already walked that road and embodies the outcome you’re aiming to achieve. For example, if your goal is to build a meaningful, long-term relationship, find a coach who is in one themselves.

It’s like this: would you hire a personal trainer who’s never stepped into a gym? No, you want someone who practices what they preach—and can help you skip the mistakes they made along the way. A coach with their own happy, healthy relationship understands what it takes to get there and can guide you with experience, not guesswork. As they’ve moved through various stages of love, they’re better equipped to help you avoid common pitfalls and provide actionable strategies tailored to your goals.

2. How Do They Speak About the Opposite Sex?

This one’s a biggie, especially if you’re dating the opposite sex. Some coaches lean into narratives of blame and manipulation, like: “Here’s how to control him,” or “Make her obsessed with you.” Gross, right? While these kinds of tactics might work in the short term, they don’t build the kind of trust and connection you’re probably craving.

A great coach talks about the opposite sex with love and respect—no “men are trash” or “women are crazy” energy allowed. They’ll help you understand and appreciate gender differences in a way that fosters connection, not control. Bonus points if they can guide you through healing old wounds and dropping the baggage that’s been weighing you down in your love life.

3. What Are Their Qualifications?

It’s important to recognise that coaching is an unregulated industry. This means anyone with Wi-Fi and a catchy Instagram handle can call themselves a “dating coach”. Scary, right? That’s why it’s crucial to ask what kind of training they’ve had. Did they breeze through a weekend workshop, or have they invested serious time—like months or even years—developing their skills?

Coaching is a complex skillset, so you’ll want to look for someone who’s been mentored by a credible expert and received supervision and feedback on their 1:1 sessions. Think of it as quality control for their coaching chops. The best training programs include this step, ensuring coaches are well-prepared to handle the intricacies of their work.

In the realm of dating and relationships, it’s common for clients to bring up sensitive topics, including past relationship or sexual trauma. While coaches aren’t therapists, a great coach can create a supportive, judgment-free space for you to feel seen, heard, and empowered to move forward confidently.

Here’s how I walk the talk: I completed my first coaching practitioner training with The Coaching Institute in 2016. This was an intensive 18-month course that included several months of triad coaching supervision. From there, I earned my NLP certification and have been continuously mentored by my father—a psychotherapist who specializes in relationships. To this day, I sit in on his weekly group therapy sessions and often consult with him on tricky coaching conundrums.

I’ve also spent thousands of dollars hiring my own coaches and mentors to support me in expanding my skillset. Experiencing the coaching process as a client has given me invaluable insights into what works (and what doesn’t) when guiding someone toward transformation.

On top of that, I’m committed to ongoing professional development, as I expand my coaching skillset with new studies every year. Some of these have included IFS-inspired coaching, Timeline Therapy, and somatic practices which enable me to further support my clients. Because let’s face it—being a great coach means staying sharp and always growing.

4. Do They Have Proven Results?

Testimonials and case studies are your best friends here. A solid coach will have a roster of success stories—clients who’ve found love, boosted their confidence, or completely transformed their dating mindset. If all they’ve got are vague promises or zero proof of impact, it’s time to swipe left.

And don’t just skim for glowing reviews. Look for examples that resonate with your situation. Are their clients achieving the kind of results you want? If yes, they might just be the guide for you.

Want to see what my clients have to say? Check out my testimonials page here. You’ll find real stories from people who’ve worked with me and experienced meaningful transformations in their love lives.

Bonus Tip: Test the Waters First

1:1 coaching is an investment—in time, energy, and dollars. Before diving in, consider starting with a lower-ticket offer, like an online course or workshop. This can be a great way to get a feel for a coach’s vibe, expertise, and teaching style without committing to a more expensive program blindly.

Think of it as a first date: a little “getting to know you” time before you decide if they’re the right fit. Plus, you might pick up some valuable tips and insights along the way, even if you don’t end up pursuing their 1:1 coaching.

Curious to explore my programs? Head over to my programs page to check out some of my offerings and see what resonates with you. Whether you’re just dipping your toes in or ready to dive deeper, there’s something for everyone.

Final Thoughts

Hiring a dating coach can feel like a leap, but it’s one of the best investments you can make in yourself and your future. Whether you’re looking for epic love, a confidence boost, or a whole new outlook on dating, the right coach can guide you to results you never thought possible.

By keeping these four factors in mind—qualifications, communication style, proven results, and testing the waters with a lower ticket offering—you’ll be well-equipped to make an informed choice that feels right for you.

Remember: you deserve a coach who truly gets you, who’s walked the path you want to travel, and who can meet you where you’re at—while inspiring you to rise to new heights.

So, do your homework, trust your intuition, and when you’re ready to take the next step, trust yourself in choosing the right coach to walk alongside you.