won
jiveny | December 19, 2009Eight months.
Two experiences in particular that really licked my soul.
In those surreal moments I felt the world.
I felt our love.
The collective pain and suffering.
The beauty of that pain; though often hard to comprehend.
I cried as my heart was opened…
And then I laughed.
With joy.
Happy to be alive.
Happy to be me.
Happy to have such a ‘fucked-up-good’ experience like that.
True enlightenment.
Yet unexpected.
How do you come back to earth after that?
How do you relate once again to the day to day reality of being human?
I’ll be chasing those moments forever; I know.
But that’s okay because I know that they can be found.
They exist like anything else.
Waiting to be dis-covered again.
Spontaneously.
I plan too much.
But I get it now.
Why we are here…
Just to be.
But I also forget.
And as each day passes the reality of these two particular experiences fades but to a memory.
But now I know that there is a reason for this.
And a purpose in forgetting.
The joy I felt was in the realization; the comprehension.
So I welcome my forgetfulness.
Because I know when the time comes I will remember again.
Things will become clear.
And the answer will blow my mind.
Until then; I plan to live intensely.
Every moment.
For me.
Not for any other.
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