LESS EGO / MORE SOUL

What is it that holds us back from claiming our own personal power; from being the best version of ourselves we possibly could be?

If you are anything like me, you’ve probably found yourself tugging at the skirt of your ultimate-self-vision with frustration every once in a while. Habits seem too stubborn; addictions too intoxicating. Match that with some underlying beliefs of unworthiness, and you’ll be forever tugging at that skirt.

But lets examine the situation a little more closely; as while the transformation into the highest expression of our self, might seem daunting, we all live with the hope that it is possible. And it is possible. You’ve seen yourself change for the better before; you’ve seen others change for the better before. Change is always possible, so the question remains: what holds us back?

A large part of the human story is this idea that “humanity is flawed”. That humans are incompetent in handling power. That we are not worthy, nor good enough to deal with the responsibilities that power entails.

This message has been perpetuated throughout our culture for thousands of years, through centuries of mythology. You needn’t look hard for examples – Adam and Eve’s original sin – Man’s “fall from grace” is perhaps the most prominent evidence of this brainwashing in action. This has led to a deeply embedded sub-conscious fear of power – reinforced by an insecurity of unworthiness.

Yet, we continue to seek our power; in fact we crave it because it is our birthright. Were you not born to rein over your own body, inspiring it to express your highest vision of self?

In light of this, it seems that whenever we get close to the edge of our own personal power, it scares the shit out of us, and so we run, putting as much space between it and ourselves as possible.

The mere idea that we could change instantaneously puts us up there with “the gods” and though our western culture might appear to contradict this theory as our governments struggles to own this god-like power, we perceive the responsibilities of “gods” as far too much for ourselves to handle. “Humanity is flawed after all,” whispers mother culture, and so, we fall back into old habits, sub-consciously self-sabotaging our dreams, trying less than our best in order to fit in and save face.

The truth is, we are powerful expressions of the divine. After all, were we not made in the image of the divine creator? All it takes to be who we want to be is a change of mind. Yet, this personal power is scary, because with the capacity to change our minds at will, we become unstoppable as we move through the flow of life, learning and transforming ourselves for the better.

Unfortunately, because we don’t trust ourselves with power (and we certainly don’t trust others of our kind with it) our subconscious will do anything to keep us from changing quickly and sustainably. And so the cycle begins, where we bring ourselves down to the level of those around us – for fear of becoming a prosecuted scapegoat (like Jesus). We also pull others around us down with our lack of confidence in their ability to handle power responsibly.

Considering how many times I have been disappointed by examples of humans who have used power irresponsibly, I will admit that this isn’t a completely unwarranted fear. However, it is important to distinguish that these painful cases are ALWAYS instances where humans have attempted to claim power over others. This is the power of domination that dominates our culture as leaders attempt to enforce their vision and their unique perspective onto others.

This never works, of course, as the point of being human is to experience a unique perspective and to make choices related to one’s own individual paradigm. There is no such thing as an answer that is fitting for all, which is why it is so important that we learn to govern ourselves with confidence and dedication in using our bodies to express ourselves authentically. After all, do you not trust yourself to be the captain of your own soul?

So let me be clear, when I talk about “claiming your own personal power”, I’m actually talking about embracing domination’s better looking sister – the power of dominion (power with others).

While the power of domination thrives on the concept of limitation; that “the more I have, the less you get”, the power of dominion, celebrates the power we have when we step up to the challenge of expressing ourselves in all our glory. This is the power that allows us to inspire one another to live a life of liberated authenticity. This is the power that allows you to not only touch your dreams, but experience them in reality. This is the power that generates sustainable success.

So I’m practicing embracing it without fear; to make the choice to change my mind and kick the habits that keep me from expressing who I really am.

And so I remind myself to stop trying - instead, to choose something and be it.

My body is a blank canvas.

Language is the paint and my mind is the artist.

Animals, plants and objects may be art but language is not their medium.

They are more like sculptures, as my words have no effect on them.

In contrast, language has the power to influence my own form dramatically.

I am who I think I am (or perhaps even more accurately at times, who I fear I am) as my words and actions manifest my thoughts.

In lieu of this, I’ve been thinking about how my own self-doubt is the only thing that separates me from those who I feel inferior to, or inspired by.

Sadly, I tend to augment my own self-doubt with the language I use to define my perspective.

It has been said that life mimics art just as art mimics life. In every moment, conscious or dreaming, we’re telling ourselves a story, and the stories we tell ourselves develop our character. In short, we’re writing our reality and it all starts with the language we use.

Delving a little deeper, I’ve observed how commonly we refer to ourselves in the third person when speaking of our own thoughts and feelings (I’m doing it right now in fact).

It’s a curious thing…

In NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), psychologists explain the importance of using “I statements” when expressing oneself. That is, using I instead of we. For example, I should say: “I’ve observed how I commonly refer to myself in the third person when speaking of my own thoughts and feelings”.

I statements force the speaker to take responsibility for their own perspective rather than attempting to suppress and disguise it as a collective issue or agreement. This negligence of responsibility inhibits real change in the name of fearless self-development as we program ourselves to think that our issues are not really ours (when they are). After all, change starts with the individual.

Granted, there are collective issues and agreements that pervade our reality, where it is entirely acceptable to speak in third. However, let us consider how speaking in third person limits the human experience.

When I take responsibility for myself through conscious speech (using I statements) I liberate my being as I validate my own personal point of view. In contrast, when speaking in third person, I neglect to own my thoughts and feelings, sending the sub-conscious message that its not really my problem, and, more destructively, that I do not have the right to feel these things as an individual.

Using I statements also prevents the speaker from imposing their reality on to the listener. I’m sure you’ve heard people describing their own unique experiences with travel, yoga, skydiving, Entheogens, or whatever else, as if their experience was definitive. They might say: “You’ll love it, it’s so amazing, when you get there, this happens and then this happens and it feels like this…” etc.

This is my issue with religious fanatics as texts such as the Bible are really just stories of other people’s experiences with source. By passing them on with the seriousness that we do, we prevent one another from being present and experiencing our own sacred stories of life, source and reality.

Sure there is truth and wisdom in each story – but rather than taking them on as gospel, its important to recognise that there is no definitive guide to life’s mystery outside of one’s own mind.

Personally, I think story telling is a good, natural and beautiful aspect of being human. However, to be responsible speakers and storytellers we need to be clear (for our own sake and others) that our personal experiences are uniquely ours. We may find others who have similar experiences, but that is still no cause to attempt to portray them as a definitive example of what it means to be alive and kicking.

Now, I realise I am being somewhat hypocritical with the tense I have written part of this article in. Granted, third person is a hard habit to break and I am still exploring how to incorporate it into my writing. However, “babies learn to crawl before they learn to walk” and so I am still working on it as I invite you to join me.

If there is one thing that life has taught me; its that teachers come in many, many forms and it is often those we fail to recognize, that have the most to offer us.

In fact, I’ve come to realise that the best teachers are the ones that disappoint your expectations at the end of the day, as they demonstrate their own mortality.

This, for a few reasons:

1)   Disappointment is a great teacher in itself. It encourages us to consider and reflect on our own expectations and projections which ultimately nurture suffering.

It also provides us with an opportunity to expand or contract.

To expand in this instance, would mean to evaluate, the teachings of that sage while holding on to their insights that you know feel true for you.

To contract however, would be to discredit all their wisdom, purely because they have not lived up to your holy image of them.

When we can hold space for our own disappointment, we grow and breakthrough the limitations of our expectations. In this way, we clear space for more opportunities.

2)   When a teacher or guru “disappoints” our highest expectations, through recognizing them as human (just like us), we are able to reclaim our own power and understand that we are the ones we’ve been waiting for; that you are the one you’ve been waiting for.

3)   I don’t believe, “enlightenment” can be taught by a single person and I personally think that any “saint” who lives a life based on rigid tradition is missing the point. Rather, “enlightenment” is absorbed through experience and exposure to a vast range of views. It comes from sifting through information and learning to discriminate between that which ultimately serves you and that which does not. After all, it is by reflecting on our interactions that real growth happens.

To consume information mindlessly, is pointless. When we find a truth and consciously seek to implement it in our daily life, we may struggle and contradict ourselves, but it is this journey that provides us with the understanding necessary to sustainably evolve.

A great example of this, is when one begins to explore and contrast the many religions out there. Personally I am not a fan of dogma and I recoil at the thought of a God who should be feared, however, I can still recognize and appreciate the nuggets of truth that are embedded in all religions.

The trick is to learn to discriminate between the “gospel” and that which feels true for you – and from those latter insights build your own religion.

People will give up almost anything to become enlightened. Anything that is, except the idea that they are not yet enlightened.

We were born enlightened. And then we chose to forget.

Why? Because we love a challenge; love a game; love an opportunity to explore – it makes us feel alive.

Many of us like the idea of becoming enlightened, however, as alluring as it may be, it is also deathly frightening.

There is an old well-known tale about a man who approaches a Zen Master and asks to be shown the path to enlightenment.

“Okay, follow me,” the Master replies, and leads the man to a nearby river and into the water.

Without warning the Master pushes the man’s head beneath the rushing river and holds it there as he struggles violently for his life. Just before he loses consciousness the Master pulls the man up, gasping for air.

“When you want to be enlightened as badly as you want to take your next breath, just now, comeback and see me,” says the Master.

This parable poses the question: Do you really yearn to become enlightened more than life itself?

A friend of mine pointed out in a conversation over the weekend, that the more we become ‘enlightened’ the more vulnerable we are to becoming depressed. I see his point. After all, it can be a pretty lonely path to wander, where one is often judged and misunderstood. And, as one begins to see through the illusions that our current society is based upon, we are often left with an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness.

Another aspect of the division that also holds us back is our own reluctance to claim our own personal power. After all, it is not the fear of failure that scares our ego most – but often, the fear of success. For then who would we be? What would we seek? And what kind of overwhelming responsibility would the claiming of our own infinite power entail?

This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t seek personal or spiritual growth; but the caveat here is that many seem to view enlightenment as the final destination. Following this view, we might find ourselves projecting on to it our hopes that ‘if only I were enlightened, I could really be a good person and be happy’.

Once we stop viewing enlightenment in this way, we can begin to enjoy the journey of self-exploration as it should be – without obligation or ambition.

And the best part is, there is no need to ‘give up’ anything. After all, true enlightenment does not come from depriving ourselves from our vices, but from letting go of that which no longer serves you when the time is right.

The difference here is that you will “set aside these things as a child sets aside toys. Not because they are unworthy, but because you have outgrown them.”

In the meantime, try not to judge yourself for taking pleasure in the material world.

You’re only human after all.

Perhaps true unconditional love is the ability to love oneself (or another) despite – not because of – one’s blessings.

Without the things you love about yourself, who would you be?

To the same extent, without your failures who would you be?

What does it mean to love someone despite their blessings?

To not take into account “why” you love them?

To love for no reason?

To not-love?

Notes to self:

Stop trying to impress yourself.

Okay is what you are.

See how you are trying to win the love of your higher self through creating a particular image of “who” you are?

This is the core of the ego.

And yet your higher-self, the one you seek to please, is the observer, smiling down at you with love no matter what you choose to do as you experience the human condition – man’s search for  meaning, for reason, for acceptance.

You have nothing to prove.

THE TEN HUMAN ILLUSIONS:

1. The Illusion of Need
   Everything you think you need you already have. It exists inside of you. “Needs” are only preferences. Observe that you can exist without.
2. The Illusion of Failure
   You never fail to succeed. “Failure” is a great teacher. Embrace failure, do not fear it.
3. The Illusion of Disunity
   You are not apart but a part. Unity and separation are the very rhythms of life.
4. The Illusion of Insufficiency
   Fill the insufficiency.  Be the source. Give what you desire away. There is enough, for the world is abundant.
5. The Illusion of Requirement
   There is nothing you have to be or do. Happiness is a choice. Remember, everything you do, you do for you.
6. The Illusion of Judgment
   Observing is witnessing, judging is concluding. Observe, as that which you would judge has already ceased to be.
7. The Illusion of Condemnation
   There is a difference between consequence and punishment. Everything is temporary.
8. The Illusion of Conditionality
   There are no victims. You choose your life by the way you  interpret and define your own experiences. There are no conditions to love and unconditional love is the greatest gift you can give to the world.
9. The Illusion of Superiority
   Superiority is an illusion based on preferences – not facts. After all, how could one be superior to itself? Remember NAMASTE: I honour the light that resides within you, which also resides within me. We are all one.
10. The Illusion of Ignorance
    You already know all of this. All learning is remembering. Some simply remember more than others.

I enjoy life and its many pleasures without guilt.

I surrender to pleasure.

I am present in this moment.
Now. Here. NOWHERE.

I can live with the uncertain, be spontaneous and surrender to the unknown. In this way I invite in the magick of life.

I realise the perfection in enough. I am satisfied with less. I enjoy all things in moderation.

I let go of my obsessions, the stories of my past.

I am present. I am interested in you. I am here to hear your story.

I laugh, I smile, I live, I love, I spread peace, love and light contagiously.

I am generous, whether you appreciate it or not.

I am the master of my mind, the conductor of my body, the friend of my soul.

I accept myself. I forgive myself. I love myself.

I am a passionate lover. I sing and I dance unashamedly as I express my joy.

I see through the maya, letting go of unnecessary thoughts.

I travel lightly, I tread lightly on this earth, honouring the source with each step.

I am open to all teachings of the collective wisdom of the universe.

I recognise failure as an illusion.

I am honest.

I am that.
I am I.
I am also you, he, she and it.
We are all one.

LESS HUMAN / MORE BEING

LESS EGO /  MORE SOUL

NAMASTE

“Other cultures are not failed attempts at being ‘western’. Rather, they are an imaginative response to the age-old question: what does it mean to be alive?“

 - Wade Davis

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It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon…
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

– Oriah Mountain Dreaming,
from the book The Invitation

1. Stop saying “just”. Value yourself and your experiences. You are more than ‘just a secretary’ or ‘just a student’. You are incredible and have the potential to be and do anything. Believe in yourself. You deserve it.
2. Use adjectives sparingly (sometimes they get in the way of the truth).
3. Understand that you don’t have to ‘do’ or ‘be’ anything. You have complete freedom and complete responsibility for your own experience. What do you want? Chase it with passion. Be relentless. Be liberated.
4. If it feels right at the time, then it’s fine. Life is meant to be lived. There is no ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ way to live it. But consider what you want on all three dimensions – mind, body and soul.
5. Recognize the creative powerful being that you are and own it. Heck, you can manifest the weather!
6. Nothing matters. Laugh.
7. You are everything – the good and the bad, the pretty and the ugly. The aim is to choose the most magnificent aspects on offer and make them a part of your reality – that is the highest choice.
8. Learn to say “No”. “Maybe later” is not the same. You are not being respectful of yourself or others when you neglect to say “No” firmly when you mean to. Learn to say it charmingly. Learn to be comfortable with it.
9. Speak to and treat others as equal souls, for they too are human like you.
10. Be honest.