LESS EGO / MORE SOUL

The fragility of intimacy

who you are and where you´ve been

the unbuckling of desire

sunlight, white sheets, take me higher

the transicence of a fleeting moment

can leave you in a state of torment

a beating pulse

that becomes and obessesion

a secret that

becomes a confession…

Relationships, sexuality, seduction and the enigma of true love have always been a natural curiosity to me. Most recently I´ve been reading about the art of seduction and reflecting on my own experiences with love, lust and attraction.

A common theme amongst all of this is love’s temptation. When a person stirs our emotions in such a way, love often calls us to surrender and lose ourself in the other. At first this can feel so right; a refreshing release of responsibilities. An indulgence in new and exciting passionate emotions where we find ourselves driven to do crazy things in the name of love. But this is loves test. She will push your boundaries, hoping not that you yeild, but that you define your position and take a stand.

I will be the first to admit, there are times when I have failed this test epicly. Failed, in the sense that in “surrending” over completely to love, I have withdrawn the greatest gift I could ever offer to a lover; me being me.

You see, you being you and me being me is the greatest gift we could possibly give to one another and a healthy relationship, however passionate, must be based on a mutual commitment to stay true to ones self. After all, a couple comes together because they liked what they initially saw in one another, no?

On pondering this truth, I’ve learned that surrendering or loosing yourself within another does not equate to intimacy. Rather, intimacy is a bond created through the transparent exploration of one anothers boundaries, coupled with the sharing of both past and present experiences.

For this reason, it is important to be conscious of the energetics involved when you approach another. Perhaps the most seductive way to approach another is with the inner mantra “I am my own person”. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of being lame prey, going out of your way to please. Instead, remember that when it comes to new relationships, we are all excited by risk and mystery and this is generated through a little resistance.

1. Stand on their level - the aim is to create an equal, relaxed, human-to-human connection.
2. Remove your sunglasses and look them straight in the eyes.
   
3.  Say as little as possible BUT try to answer direct questions as honestly and directly as possible – though NEVER deny or confess (without the advice of a lawyer).
4. Know your rights and declare them in a respectful manner.
5. Remember that a polite & respectful attitude can save you money.

Even after all this time
The sun never says to the earth,

“You owe Me.”
Look what happens
 with a love like that,
It lights the Whole Sky.
—Hafiz

Recently I have been following the work of Charles Eisenstein in his exploration of what he calls “Sacred Economics”. In his book, he explores our historical relationship to money, it’s original purpose and the now warped addiction we have to paper, metal and plastic in this “Age of Separation”.

There are three points he makes that I would like to summarise here, as these insights have really inspired me to adopt a healthier relationship with the universe…

1. We are all born helpless infants; creatures of pure need with little resources to recipricate, yet we are fed, protected, clothed, held and soothed, without having done anything to “deserve it”. This experience, common to everyone who has made it past childhood, informs some of our deepest spiritual intuitions. Our lives are given us; therefore, our default state is gratitude. This is the truth of our existence.

“No wonder ancient religious thinkers said that God made the world, and no wonder they said God gave the world to us. The first is an expression of humility, the second of gratitude. Sadly, later theologians twisted this realization to mean, “God gave us the world to exploit, to master, to dominate.” Such an interpretation is contrary to the spirit of the original realization. Humility knows that this Gift is beyond our ability to master. Gratitude knows that we honor, or dishonor, the giver of a gift by how we use it.”

2. Everything that is sold today was originally a part of the commons – included in the package of life, for all of us to enjoy. As our society has progressed into this Age of Separation however, elements of our communal wealth have been, in effect, stolen to create the commodities traded throughout the world today. You can trace all the materials used for a thing, back to its natural source. This idea of property has perpetuated the ego’s attachment to “mine” and “yours” as we divide our world into increasingly smaller fragments. This is a wound we all feel subconsciously and is perhaps most obvious in the example of property. No longer do we have the luxury to enjoy nature’s beauty like the free animals we were born to be, as our land has been divided and christened with signs proclaiming “PRIVATE PROPERTY – KEEP OUT”.

Take a walk through the country and all humans are bound by the laws of trespassing to stick to the dusty main road while a swallow may carelessly explore whatever territory it wishes.

3. “The urge to own grows in natural response to an alienating ideology that severs felt connections and leaves us alone in the universe. When we exclude world from self, the tiny, lonely identity that remains has a voracious need to claim as much as possible of that lost beingness for its own. “If all the world, all of life and earth, is no longer me, I can at least compensate by making it mine.” Other separate selves do the same, so we live in a world of competition and omnipresent anxiety. It is built into our self-definition. This is the deficit of being, the deficit of soul, into which we are born. And, because there is no apparent limit to what money can buy, our desire for money tends to be unlimited as well.”

I encourage you to indulge your mind in the brilliance of his writing, on a subject that is important for all of us to understand.

You can read Sacred Economics online for free here.

(c) Sarah Blake

Light and Dark are the original children of the divine duality.

Children, both equal in their merits and caveats, though in many ways humanity appears to favour light as the more benevolent, “spiritual” and higher of the two.

Enchanted, we often associate Light with purity, goodness, spirituality, cleansing and the soul.

Darkness, in contrast, is often related to debauchery, evil, fear and pain.

While darkness may amplify our fear of the unknown, Light, banishes the unknown, limiting possibilities and calming the insecurities that rise in the face of uncertainty. With light, creation is limited and our imagination is restrained – lest we forget that it is actually in the dark where all is equal and free.

Dark benevolently passes no judgment; she loves unconditionally.

Light on the other hand, illuminates what would otherwise be unknown. It gives shape to the energy that surrounds us, allowing us to perceive the interactions that take place in our environment. We feel safer and more secure in the light as form takes on a more familiar shape.

However, is it not light that inspires our judgments; separating form from form with the boundaries of “this” and “that”, “me” and “you”, “us” and “them”?

Is light then not the instigator of separation, and darkness facilitator of unity?

“All colours will agree in the dark.”  – Francis Bacon

A friend recently asked me about what I think it means to be happy.

It used to be freedom.

But then I realised that we are always free – free to choose how to react to any given situation, free to suffer; free to laugh.

And that, it is actually some degree of responsibility that adds satisfaction to our lives.

So what does it mean to be happy?

Today, to me, it means to be comfortable in one’s own skin; to be your own best friend. That way you can make the best of any situation. To know thyself; to love yourself and to feel comfortable spending time with yourself and expressing your energy truth fully – that is true happiness.

If you beg to differ, I’d love to hear from you.

Namaste~

The Buddhists are known to practice the art of non-confirmation.

This means they refrain from giving and seeking confirmation of one’s words, of one’s actions and of one’s self.

By doing so, they forge their own path toward freedom.

No longer are they caught up with the illusions of the external world, warping their truth and distracting their presence.

No longer are they governed by their ego, vying to gain power-over through the portrayal of a particular image of self.

Instead, they are left – at first, quite uncomfortably – with only the judgment of their own mind and the guidance of their own moral compass.

And this is where the magic happens…
Where one really gets to know themselves,
Where one is cordially invited commune with their soul;
To discover what it is they truly ache for and pursue it with passion and reckless abandon.

Why do we fear ourselves?

Why do we doubt ourselves?

Why do we question our own judgment?

Why do we think, for one second, that another could possibly tell us how to live our own lives any better than by the guidance of our own hearts?

Why are we so afraid to take the reins; to claim our decisions as our own?

Because if we were “wrong” than who’d be to blame?

If we “failed”, than how would we recover from such a loss of face?

But think about it, has life ever thrown you something you couldn’t handle?

You might think so, but you’re still here; you survived.

At worst you might have wound up a little bruised and battered.

Embarrassed perhaps… But you recovered and you evolved.

Surrender your soul to the waters of time

The truth that all is transient

Floating freely down the canal to rebirth

Cling to nothing; but delight in the ride

The truth is discovered now

Naked and bare

Raw to the eyes of the blind

The discovery

Of what it feels to be free

Unburdened

Not wet yet nor dry

Exist in this space

As you dwell in this place

Let feelings guide your reactions

For nothing is right

And nothing is wrong

Spare the truth of your own moral compass

Remember now

What you knew all along

The truth

Your soul

Is now opened

And with no remorse

Abandon your thoughts

And live freely

On instinct and feeling.

I’ve recently been learning that no matter the conditions I still have the ability – the choice – to feel good about myself…and about life. The hard part, however, is often finding one’s way through all the darkness…and letting go of the illusionsof the external world; the illusions that at times we should fee bad for ourselves…hate ourselves…punish ourselves…

Not true.

If I can find a moment, maybe once a week, to go outside and stare up at the vast night’s sky, I can’t help but feel love for this existence. Just the fact that our hearts are beating and our lungs are breathing; that we are free and alive, with the potential to experience such an array of sensations, feelings and events, is enough to fill a heat with gratitude.

Here’s a little history, of a bigger mystery
I have written this story into my song
If it isn’t what your used to
Then I hope it will allow you
Maybe if you choose to then you’ll sing along

I am as old as the universe
I’ve been here before and I’ll be here again
I am a child of the universe
A part of all women, and a part of all men

Once upon a sometime, and once upon a somehow
And once upon a somewhere, There was a big bang
Energy revolving, energy dissolving,
Eneryg evolving, and that is what I am.

I am not a somebody, I am not a nobody,
I am a celled one body filling this space.
All I ever could be, and all I ever would be,
and all I ever will be is here in this place.

I am but a flower, who blossoms in a hour,
and in me there’s a power that goes on and on.
Power in the roots of me, power in the shoots of me,
power in the fruit that will pass my seed on.

I am as old as the universe
I’ve been here before and I’ll be here again
I am a child of the universe
A part of all women, and a part of all men

– Rainbow Child Lyrics by Unknown

P.S. ConFest was amazing…I do recommend!

“The inspector says I’m free. I’m free now and I was free in prison too, because freedom continues to be the thing I prize most in the world. Of course, this has led me to drink wines I did not like, to do things I should not have done and which I will not do again: it has left scars on my body and my soul, it has meant hurting certain people, although I have since asked their forgiveness, when I realised that I could do absolutely anything except force another person to follow me in my madness, in my lust for life.

I don’t regret the painful times; I bear my scars as if they were medals. I know that freedom has a high price, as high as that of slavery; the only difference is that you pay with pleasure and smile, even when that smile is dimmed by tears.”

– Paulo Coelho, The Zahir