LESS EGO / MORE SOUL

What is it that holds us back from claiming our own personal power; from being the best version of ourselves we possibly could be?

If you are anything like me, you’ve probably found yourself tugging at the skirt of your ultimate-self-vision with frustration every once in a while. Habits seem too stubborn; addictions too intoxicating. Match that with some underlying beliefs of unworthiness, and you’ll be forever tugging at that skirt.

But lets examine the situation a little more closely; as while the transformation into the highest expression of our self, might seem daunting, we all live with the hope that it is possible. And it is possible. You’ve seen yourself change for the better before; you’ve seen others change for the better before. Change is always possible, so the question remains: what holds us back?

A large part of the human story is this idea that “humanity is flawed”. That humans are incompetent in handling power. That we are not worthy, nor good enough to deal with the responsibilities that power entails.

This message has been perpetuated throughout our culture for thousands of years, through centuries of mythology. You needn’t look hard for examples – Adam and Eve’s original sin – Man’s “fall from grace” is perhaps the most prominent evidence of this brainwashing in action. This has led to a deeply embedded sub-conscious fear of power – reinforced by an insecurity of unworthiness.

Yet, we continue to seek our power; in fact we crave it because it is our birthright. Were you not born to rein over your own body, inspiring it to express your highest vision of self?

In light of this, it seems that whenever we get close to the edge of our own personal power, it scares the shit out of us, and so we run, putting as much space between it and ourselves as possible.

The mere idea that we could change instantaneously puts us up there with “the gods” and though our western culture might appear to contradict this theory as our governments struggles to own this god-like power, we perceive the responsibilities of “gods” as far too much for ourselves to handle. “Humanity is flawed after all,” whispers mother culture, and so, we fall back into old habits, sub-consciously self-sabotaging our dreams, trying less than our best in order to fit in and save face.

The truth is, we are powerful expressions of the divine. After all, were we not made in the image of the divine creator? All it takes to be who we want to be is a change of mind. Yet, this personal power is scary, because with the capacity to change our minds at will, we become unstoppable as we move through the flow of life, learning and transforming ourselves for the better.

Unfortunately, because we don’t trust ourselves with power (and we certainly don’t trust others of our kind with it) our subconscious will do anything to keep us from changing quickly and sustainably. And so the cycle begins, where we bring ourselves down to the level of those around us – for fear of becoming a prosecuted scapegoat (like Jesus). We also pull others around us down with our lack of confidence in their ability to handle power responsibly.

Considering how many times I have been disappointed by examples of humans who have used power irresponsibly, I will admit that this isn’t a completely unwarranted fear. However, it is important to distinguish that these painful cases are ALWAYS instances where humans have attempted to claim power over others. This is the power of domination that dominates our culture as leaders attempt to enforce their vision and their unique perspective onto others.

This never works, of course, as the point of being human is to experience a unique perspective and to make choices related to one’s own individual paradigm. There is no such thing as an answer that is fitting for all, which is why it is so important that we learn to govern ourselves with confidence and dedication in using our bodies to express ourselves authentically. After all, do you not trust yourself to be the captain of your own soul?

So let me be clear, when I talk about “claiming your own personal power”, I’m actually talking about embracing domination’s better looking sister – the power of dominion (power with others).

While the power of domination thrives on the concept of limitation; that “the more I have, the less you get”, the power of dominion, celebrates the power we have when we step up to the challenge of expressing ourselves in all our glory. This is the power that allows us to inspire one another to live a life of liberated authenticity. This is the power that allows you to not only touch your dreams, but experience them in reality. This is the power that generates sustainable success.

So I’m practicing embracing it without fear; to make the choice to change my mind and kick the habits that keep me from expressing who I really am.

And so I remind myself to stop trying - instead, to choose something and be it.

I have a new yogic practice…

It involves maintaining open, symmetrical body language throughout my daily movements.

As I sit, stand, walk and move my aim is to have the left and the right sides of my body mirroring each other, without crossing the central axis of my spine. This is the way a young child or an animal will often express themselves when they are relaxed and at peace.

Being conscious about my posture in this way allows my energy to flow freely. It also symbolizes my openness to life, experiences and others. This is a powerful practice because it is through our own symbolic actions that our sub-concious communicates.

Interestingly, my ego is not so fond of this really simple practice. I think it finds it confronting to be so open – to allow myself to appear vulnerable. This requires more of a conscious effort on my part – reminding myself that there is nothing “out there” to fear.

I know from my yoga practice how common it is in our modern lifestyle to maintain a hunched, closed posture as we attempt to shield our vulnerabilities from the outside world. In many subtle ways, I find this reinforces our separation conditioning of fear as we “protect” ourselves from what we no longer consider a part of “us”.

This is why I am making a conscious effort to use this practice as a way to soften my ego. After all, it is by making ourselves vulnerable that we eventually become invulnerable.

“I am the Lizard King, I can do anything!”  - Jim Morrison

Religious myths, such as those studied in the “holy” books of the world’s cultures, are at the end of the day, just stories of other’s experiences with source. Stories, that have been passed on like chinese whispers throughout time immemorial.

Consider how words and culture (the stories we are collectively told and often which become the stories which we tell ourselves) prevent us from being present and experiencing our own interaction with life, source and reality.

Just as a dream only has a message for the dreamer, all stories are so drenched in symbolism that it’s true meaning can only be interpreted by the writer.

This isn’t to say that such stories can’t serve to inspire and serve in our own relationship with life. We are a storytelling race after all, and the stories we weave and share are wonderful. However, I would regret allowing a story to blind me from the magic of my own experiences.

On the Illuminati, “reptiles” and other conspiracy theories:

Understand that they are always looking for players. Anyone can tell a good story, but the question is, can they kick the ball at the end of the day?

Theirs might be an interesting story – it might even be a true story, but it is also an ancient and old story and the more we re-tell it, the more it binds us to such a reality – driven by fear and a hunger for power.

A story only holds true if you believe in it.

It’s your choice to engage in such myths or write a new one.

A lot of people tend to view the world through the narrow filters of “right” and “wrong”.

I just see a bunch of wounded animals trying their best to heal themselves and get along.

Is the world of a predatory or benevolent nature?

Are we right to fear the unknown?

We certainly see nature display a predatory theme as death claims life with reckless abandon.

However, this is not the opposite to benevolence. For nature knows the importance of harmony and balance far better than we do, offering ecstasy in each little death.

Silently, she encourages us to take what we need and leave the rest alone, for it is out of need (not greed) that we may take without consequence.

But driven by greed, our society has been conditioned to take more than we need.

And so we find ourselves addicted to consumption; to having and devouring as much as we can in our lifetime.

This is our reaction in an effort to reclaim ourselves; to fill the gaping hole that has wounded our soul as we consume ourselves,

bite by bite,

   moment by moment,

  slowly from the inside out.

I can’t get this parable out of my head, so I wanted to share it with you. It is an excerpt from A book by Daniel Quinn – My Ishmael (1997).

You can click on the images to enlarge. Please comment to discuss.

Even after all this time
The sun never says to the earth,

“You owe Me.”
Look what happens
 with a love like that,
It lights the Whole Sky.
—Hafiz

Recently I have been following the work of Charles Eisenstein in his exploration of what he calls “Sacred Economics”. In his book, he explores our historical relationship to money, it’s original purpose and the now warped addiction we have to paper, metal and plastic in this “Age of Separation”.

There are three points he makes that I would like to summarise here, as these insights have really inspired me to adopt a healthier relationship with the universe…

1. We are all born helpless infants; creatures of pure need with little resources to recipricate, yet we are fed, protected, clothed, held and soothed, without having done anything to “deserve it”. This experience, common to everyone who has made it past childhood, informs some of our deepest spiritual intuitions. Our lives are given us; therefore, our default state is gratitude. This is the truth of our existence.

“No wonder ancient religious thinkers said that God made the world, and no wonder they said God gave the world to us. The first is an expression of humility, the second of gratitude. Sadly, later theologians twisted this realization to mean, “God gave us the world to exploit, to master, to dominate.” Such an interpretation is contrary to the spirit of the original realization. Humility knows that this Gift is beyond our ability to master. Gratitude knows that we honor, or dishonor, the giver of a gift by how we use it.”

2. Everything that is sold today was originally a part of the commons – included in the package of life, for all of us to enjoy. As our society has progressed into this Age of Separation however, elements of our communal wealth have been, in effect, stolen to create the commodities traded throughout the world today. You can trace all the materials used for a thing, back to its natural source. This idea of property has perpetuated the ego’s attachment to “mine” and “yours” as we divide our world into increasingly smaller fragments. This is a wound we all feel subconsciously and is perhaps most obvious in the example of property. No longer do we have the luxury to enjoy nature’s beauty like the free animals we were born to be, as our land has been divided and christened with signs proclaiming “PRIVATE PROPERTY – KEEP OUT”.

Take a walk through the country and all humans are bound by the laws of trespassing to stick to the dusty main road while a swallow may carelessly explore whatever territory it wishes.

3. “The urge to own grows in natural response to an alienating ideology that severs felt connections and leaves us alone in the universe. When we exclude world from self, the tiny, lonely identity that remains has a voracious need to claim as much as possible of that lost beingness for its own. “If all the world, all of life and earth, is no longer me, I can at least compensate by making it mine.” Other separate selves do the same, so we live in a world of competition and omnipresent anxiety. It is built into our self-definition. This is the deficit of being, the deficit of soul, into which we are born. And, because there is no apparent limit to what money can buy, our desire for money tends to be unlimited as well.”

I encourage you to indulge your mind in the brilliance of his writing, on a subject that is important for all of us to understand.

You can read Sacred Economics online for free here.

The Toltecs are a fascinating culture to study. Preceding the Aztecs (and often revered by the Aztecs as the wise forefathers), the Toltecs reigned in Southern Mexico around 900AD.

They were known as “artists of life” as their teachings were ultimately directed towards attaining personal freedom and happiness through self-awareness, intent and conscious choice.

They taught their students to explore themselves fearlessly, to know and accept themselves and to author their own life. In two words they taught “Self Actualization”.

Their philosophy is based on two key concepts:

The first is to take responsibility for all of ones experiences in life.

Many of us tend to view (consciously or not) responsibility in a negative light – that we are “at fault” if something goes wrong, and that can be scary. However response-ability is really simply about being able to respond to life to the best of your ability. After all, you can only really be held responsible for the choices you make.

The second fundamental teaching is in realizing that we don’t really see life at all; what we actually see is our own filter system, composed of our conditioned beliefs, expectations, agreements, and assumptions.

In this way, the Toltecs viewed the universe as a complex energy system and sought to perceive things by their true energetic form, recognizing that all energy has consciousness – neither “good”/ “bad” / “positive” or “negative”. Sacred or profane; it’s all the same. Everything is neutral. With this awareness they adopted the power to influence and change their lives to serve and reflect their own divine dreams as they came to understand – and work with - the mechanism of their own filter system.

Related Posts:

• The Four Agreements
• Recapitulation: The Art of Letting Go

I’d like to dispel a few common myths…

This idea that there are certain topics of conversation that are too “taboo” to discuss with others.

That in asking questions inspired by a natural curiosity, we might be seen as inappropriate.

That clarifying where we are at in our relationships with others is too risky and revealing.

That in being transparent, others will judge or lose interest in us.

No lie is harmless.
Silence breeds assumptions.
Assumptions breed expectations.
Expectations breed disappointment & suffering.

This is why it is so important in our own evolution to find our voice, to learn to respectfully ask for what we want and to express ourselves accurately.

You can ask for anything.
You can talk about anything.
And you can also neglect to talk about certain things if you feel your privacy is being invaded.

But I encourage you to acknowledge the moments when you silence yourself for fear of embarrassment and be vigilant about the assumptions you make in your relationships with others.

You can be honest and people will still love you.

After all, authenticity is attractive.

Because it is through making ourselves vulnerable that we become invulnerable as we abandon our egoic conditioning and accept ourselves for who we are and not who we appear to be.

& often it comes down to one casual conversation vs. a thousand awkward moments.

We all have egos. Some are out of control while others consume the self with insecurity and self-pity. Some of us are aware of our ego; others remain ignorant. Many of us see the ego as a negative quality of human nature and seek to supress it. I see the goal, however, as not to eliminate the ego – but to train it as an aid in our own pursuit of fulfillment as we traverse the many paths through life.

So, what is the ego?

Recently I have been delving into the works of Martin Ball, who describes the ego as a complicated software that essentially exists to provide contrast to our otherwise omnipresent state of being. As one, we know that we are all – empty and complete, however, that knowing is hell without any contrast to compare it to – which is how the ego serves its purpose.

In essence, the ego is our own unique filter system, causing us to perceive separation throughout the world. It classifies the stimuli of the universe by that which “I am” and that which “I am not“ / by that which “I like”, and that “I do not”. In doing so, it allows us to build up our own personal identity of self based on association, providing us with a unique life experience as we pursue our own individual desires.

While traditionally it was a survival mechanism put in place to keep our primal bodies alive, today, with the public portrayal of self, it is forever poised to present one as superior to another.

Saying that, while the ego can be our downfall, enlightenment does not come from transcending the ego, but in understanding and mastering the ego so that it may serve its true purpose. That is, to motivate you to live a satisfying and fulfilling life, as you identify and pursue your own desires and dreams.

However, it is a journey in itself, to unwind the ego’s twistedness – conditioned through experience to avoid past pains and embarrassments.

In essence, the ego functions to generate a whole range of artificial constructs of the self, and seeks to protect these constructs at all costs. As Martin Ball eloquently puts it:

“The last thing that the ego wants to is to be confronted with the reality that, “You’re full of shit,” as that does not reaffirm its sense of self and world.  In fact, it conflicts with it dramatically.  When such a confrontation occurs, egos have a couple of choices.  One is to pretend that nothing happened, and go about business as usual.  The other is to hold on even stronger to the self-generated illusions, especially through finding others who share similar illusions and allow for group identity, or, embark on an existential crisis that may or may not resolve beneficially.  If beneficial, the individual will find a new state of liberation from the constructs of the ego.  If not beneficial, the ego will simply adopt a new set of beliefs and structures in place of the old ones.”

In this crusade it often evokes conflict, violence, hate, fear, greed, judgment, jealousy, rage, victimization, self-pity, indulgence, suffering and pain.

However, it is from this chaos that the beauty of the life experience is really born with the gifts of curiosity, exploration, inquisitiveness, creativity and the opportunity to learn and discover the radiant mystery that lies at the centre of our existence.

While at times it may not seem so, the journey as we move through the spectrum of experience, encourages us to learn from and master our egos so that we may revel in the beauty of life without suffering. This is only a desirable destination however, because we have experienced the “dark” contrast perpetuated by an ego that is out of control.