LESS EGO / MORE SOUL

“The more we have, the more bored we get.” Mad Men Season 3

Something I have been turning over in my mind a lot lately is our Western concept of ‘enough’.

I feel the mundane world loves to have more & generally more is considered better… What an interesting illusion we have created for ourselves…And I’ll admit I play along.

But every now and again, I come face to face with the truth.

That more is not always better.

That enough is what we really yearn for.

Enough.

It’s the point of satisfaction before greed sets in.

It’s when you realize that you don’t need anything more to make you happy.

You are content. Fulfilled. Satisfied.

Any more than, wont do you any favors. It’s just overkill.

Sometimes it’s a struggle to remember that you can have too much of a good thing; that less really is more. I observe myself overloading my body with too much. I watch a greedy ego take over my mind from time to time and I hate it. It’s toxic and it’s not really me. I know that.

I hate playing watchdog –  caring if my neighbor gets that little bit extra like it means I’m less worthy.

I hate re-acting to fear-based thoughts as opposed to choosing my actions and acting with love.

And so I’m desperately trying to shake the belief that “more is better”.

After over a decade of living in a world where we are constantly told that “there is not enough (for everyone) so you better get your hands on as much as you can (which is often more than enough for a single soul)…I can find a million ways to superficially justify why more would be better.

I can only conclude that justification is pretty darn useless when you are trying to connect with what is intrinsic and internal.

“Live simply so that you may simply live.” Conversations With God book 1.

In the Dreamtime, the Aboriginals would teach their young ones that the Flora are one’s sisters, and the Fauna is one’s brother.

This was a clever teaching.

It brought harmony to the tribe and it’s environment.

That’s what I’m gonna teach my kids.

The trees, shrubs and flowers are your sisters.

Love them. Respect them. Play with them kindly.

The animals of each land, sky and sea are your brothers.

Love them. Respect them. Play with them kindly.

MORE and MORE.

I took my heart out a lay it down on the sand
To take a breath with an empty ribcage
To understand what it is like to be alive.
To be here.
With you.

I stared straight into the sun
Despite all warnings.

I said to the sun, I said:
Sun, I love you.
And I don’t care what your light reveals.
I can invent myself, pretend to me more
But at the end of the day I just am.
And I’m okay with that.

“We trick ourselves into beleiving we need all this stuff.”
You said to me.
“But we don’t” I finished.

We’re both explorers of the world.
Free.
We have everything we need right here;
This vast world of adventures
Experiences and opportunities
There is enough.

You remind me of what I already know,
but fail to put into practice.

God,
You make me want to give up drugs and alcohol
- the more time to be with you.

We both took our hearts out
And laid them in the sand.
Breathing deeply with an empty ribcage.

“It’s good to be here” I said.

Alive and living.

“It’s good to be here” you agreed.

New and exciting news:

I’ve finally gathered the courage to take on the Hello Sunday Morning challange for the next three months.

You can witness my journey here.

Peace, light and love

Jiv x

This path I walk these days is so beautiful and enlightening, but also scary for me and those who are close to me because it is so different and foreign in comparison to how they have been conditioned to see the world.

Out of habit I turn to those closest to me – particularly my parents – for encouragement and strength.

But I really do need to come to terms with the fact that their approval isn’t so important anymore – I don’t need it.

And if I continue seeking it I wont be able to go happily wherever it is that I want to go in life. I need to remember not to take what others say too seriously – particularly those I admire and look to for guidance and support. Of course I will still listen; but when dealing with those who you admire, one must remember that at the end of the day we are all the same; human, trying to figure out how to best live our own lives.

We are all made of the same stuff. Just like a room of mirrors, we are simply reflecting different angles of the source.

All these thousands of miles later, all these different people I’ve been, and it’s still the same story. Why is it you feel like a dope if you laugh alone, but that’s usually how you end up crying? How is it you can keep mutating and still be the same deadly virus?

- Chuck Palaniuk

I want people to know that almost everything that concerns them in their daily lives is of no consequence whatsoever. Nothing and nobody is really important, so people, realising that, should get on with their lives, go mad, take their clothes off, jump in the canal, jump into one of those supermarket trolleys, race ‘round the supermarket and steal Mars bars and, y’know, kiss kittens and sit on the back of bread vans. Whatever makes people happy they should just do it, ‘cos time is a mere scratch and life is nothing.

- Morrissey

I feel so raw. Lost in the illusions of reality.

Sitting on the floor of my room, staring at my reflection in the mirror, I asked myself How I came to be dwelling in such a sad and lonely place?

“I feel exhausted.” I answered. “I feel frustrated, tired of fighting for the life I want to live. Tired of justifying my existence to the world, my passions, my motivations, my feelings, ideas and aspirations. And I’m tired of trying to get somewhere I am not. Struggling…”

And where is it you want to go? My higher self asked. Or rather, What would it look like to have won?

“To have won…?” My mind answered, interested in this different question, something I hadn’t yet pondered.
“To have won…I would feel free. No more fighting, justifying, suffering.
Just being . Or rather, more doing (compared to the amount of time I spend dreaming up what it is I would like to do). Who I want to be would be a natural reaction to the world around me. I’d have stopped living mindlessly. Reacting…”

And so what is stopping you from getting there?

“People scared of difference. Trying to give me “advice” that sends me down some general path I know won’t serve me…” Said I.

Really?

“Okay not really. People have nothing to do with it. It’s myself…sabotaging…myself.”

And why do you think you would be doing that to yourself?

“Fear. Because it’s scary to walk a different path.”

Lets try being a winner for a moment. For a day. Lets just try and see what happens.

“Okay….tomorrow.”

No. Not tomorrow. From right now.

“errr…how?” I asked meekly.

Let go of what happened before. Let go of what could happen. Choose something and be it.

“Easier said than done ya know.”

So you like to think.