Notes on Love: The Fragility of Intimacy
jiveny | January 7, 2013
The fragility of intimacy
who you are and where you´ve been
the unbuckling of desire
sunlight, white sheets, take me higher
the transicence of a fleeting moment
can leave you in a state of torment
a beating pulse
that becomes and obessesion
a secret that
becomes a confession…
Relationships, sexuality, seduction and the enigma of true love have always been a natural curiosity to me. Most recently I´ve been reading about the art of seduction and reflecting on my own experiences with love, lust and attraction.
A common theme amongst all of this is love’s temptation. When a person stirs our emotions in such a way, love often calls us to surrender and lose ourself in the other. At first this can feel so right; a refreshing release of responsibilities. An indulgence in new and exciting passionate emotions where we find ourselves driven to do crazy things in the name of love. But this is loves test. She will push your boundaries, hoping not that you yeild, but that you define your position and take a stand.
I will be the first to admit, there are times when I have failed this test epicly. Failed, in the sense that in “surrending” over completely to love, I have withdrawn the greatest gift I could ever offer to a lover; me being me.
You see, you being you and me being me is the greatest gift we could possibly give to one another and a healthy relationship, however passionate, must be based on a mutual commitment to stay true to ones self. After all, a couple comes together because they liked what they initially saw in one another, no?
On pondering this truth, I’ve learned that surrendering or loosing yourself within another does not equate to intimacy. Rather, intimacy is a bond created through the transparent exploration of one anothers boundaries, coupled with the sharing of both past and present experiences.
For this reason, it is important to be conscious of the energetics involved when you approach another. Perhaps the most seductive way to approach another is with the inner mantra “I am my own person”. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of being lame prey, going out of your way to please. Instead, remember that when it comes to new relationships, we are all excited by risk and mystery and this is generated through a little resistance.
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