LESS EGO / MORE SOUL

1. Stop saying “just”. Value yourself and your experiences. You are more than ‘just a secretary’ or ‘just a student’. You are incredible and have the potential to be and do anything. Believe in yourself. You deserve it.
2. Use adjectives sparingly (sometimes they get in the way of the truth).
3. Understand that you don’t have to ‘do’ or ‘be’ anything. You have complete freedom and complete responsibility for your own experience. What do you want? Chase it with passion. Be relentless. Be liberated.
4. If it feels right at the time, then it’s fine. Life is meant to be lived. There is no ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ way to live it. But consider what you want on all three dimensions – mind, body and soul.
5. Recognize the creative powerful being that you are and own it. Heck, you can manifest the weather!
6. Nothing matters. Laugh.
7. You are everything – the good and the bad, the pretty and the ugly. The aim is to choose the most magnificent aspects on offer and make them a part of your reality – that is the highest choice.
8. Learn to say “No”. “Maybe later” is not the same. You are not being respectful of yourself or others when you neglect to say “No” firmly when you mean to. Learn to say it charmingly. Learn to be comfortable with it.
9. Speak to and treat others as equal souls, for they too are human like you.
10. Be honest.

I think that sometimes our society breeds us to be a little too needy or reliant on others.

We have all felt the sting of being let down or disappointed by another at some point in our lives. Often, this suffering is the result of our own expectations on the other.

I watch those who invest their time and love into one or two single people whom they feel should be a constant in our lives with trepidation. The excessive responsibility they place upon another makes their world fragile. They burden their relationships with expectations, often inspiring possessiveness and jealousy.

I made a point early on in my life not to rely on other people too much. I trust others, yes, and seek their support, but to rely on one single soul to make me happy just seems ridiculous. As a result I have made a point not to have a ‘best friend’ in my life, but rather, many good friends. This way, I have a few people to call on to come out and have a good time or a deep and meaningful conversation should one or two favourites have other plans.

In contrast, I’ve seen time and time again people latch on to that one person – be it a boyfriend or a ‘best friend’ to find themselves shattered when the relationship comes to an end.

Building a good relationship with one’s self is so important in life because we will always be present in our own experience, while it is only natural that other characters will come and go. Likewise, our role in another’s life is never permanent. This, of course, is a good and beautiful thing. It allows us to experience a whole range of different kinds of relationships, providing the opportunities we need to define ourselves fully. It also prevents us from falling slave to the definitions others bestow upon our heads. After all, it is very difficult for one to grow and develop their personality, when one is constantly surrounded by the same people.

Have you ever noticed how you tend to be most generous when you are happy?

That was just a thought I had…

I’m worn to the bone. Today was nice enough though. I was in a great mood, one of those ones where you find yourself thinking ‘yes this is exactly who I am’. One of those days where you have no fear, just courage.

As a spur of the moment idea, I ditched my last lecture in favour of this spiritual chanting dinner in West End. The food was 10/10 and the people are all so interesting and beautiful.

My only issue is my slight frustration with meditation and chanting. While I would really love to learn how to mediate and practice on a regular basis, like most, I find it so difficult to ‘clear my mind’. I’m a total over-thinker by definition and while I generally enjoy the company of my thoughts, on the conventional path to spiritual enlightenment this is a bit of a pothole.

The first time I went to a chanting session it was intoxicating, like the first time you smoke a cigarette and get that amazing head-spin. You smoke the rest of the pack in the vain hope of the same experience, but alas it’s only a memory as you have developed a tolerance.

Likewise, my first session left me feeling so cleansed and calm afterward; it was addictive. However, ever since, I feel like I’ve just been vainly chasing that memory. Part of the issue is my over-thinking mind; it wants to know exactly what I am chanting – the exact translation, before it gives in to the experience again.

I have been told, but it’s times like this that I have the memory of a sieve, and when I am having these thoughts (as we sit around chanting) it is hardly the time to ask again.

As a result I spent most of the session deconstructing my inability to let go and just ‘observe’. The conclusion I came to was this:

While I am a very spiritual person, who considers herself to be fairly self aware, my issue with chanting stems from my upbringing.

Going to an all-girl Anglican private school where we had compulsory christian education lessons and chapel services – often involving mindless chanting and devotion to a construction of God I really do not agree with – did not rub well with me.

I hate the idea of worshiping an almighty God. In fact, part of my own personal belief system is that we are ‘it’; We are God. God is us, in a human form to experience life. Therefore, there is no-one to worship but ourselves. (I know I’ve failed to put this into the substantial context here – but hear with me and I’ll draw you a picture one day).

A great quote that illustrates my point is from the book Eat, Pray, Love.

‘God needs us because God loves to feel things through our hands‘ .

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