LESS EGO / MORE SOUL

Really.

I have finally realized how much of the life I was living was dictated by other people’s stories. The stories that make up society’s constructions, our means of measuring “reasonable behaviour”. I also realised how we were led, so easily to stop listening to our bodies, to our soul, to our self as a whole and instead follow this code of behaviour blindly.

Time.

We have identified a “correct time” for everything in our daily lives. A time to wake, a time to eat, a time to drink alcohol, a time to work, a time to play, a time to sleep, a time to party…and the list goes on.

I, like many others, had fallen into the trap of living by the clock – rather, than listening to my body.

I would tell myself what it was time for and what it was not time for, ignoring, what my true self desired. I lost touch of how my body was feeling, and the ability to read what my body wanted to tell me. I would eat when I was not hungry, simply because ‘it was time for lunch’, sleep when I was not tired because “it was late”, and party when what I needed most was to rest.

It is living like this – out of touch – that leads us to become confused and then frustrated.

Confused because we give our body ‘something good’ but often not what it is asking for. And then frustrated when we do not feel satisfied because we do not know what it is we want.

I woke up this morning and decided to be different. To change. I did not get out of bed soon after waking to have breakfast; I wasn’t hungry. Instead I decided to read. Then to write. Then to shower. I forced myself to stay with the present moment. Do one thing at a time. And I enjoyed it a hell of a lot more than ever. When I did get hungry consequently around 1pm, I made myself something good and ate it. In peace, doing nothing else. Feeling happy, alive and satisfied I asked myself “So what do I want to do next?”

I’m at Lake Tahoe at the moment. There’s snow on the streets, something so simple yet taken for granted in this neck of the woods. I went for a walk through the trees with my brother, and despite not wearing the right clothing or the consequences that could be, I allowed myself to freely fall back into it’s soft mass. We made snow angels, laughing our heads off like little kids again. When the laughter subsided we were left looking at the vast blue sky. Breathing in and out, long and deep. It was a moment of joy; when you realize this is what it is to be living.

Emotions are a tricky aspect of being human. They are the language of the soul; subtle, elusive and cryptic. Often they defy the rationality of the mind and the logic of our society. While at times this can be scary and confusing we need to learn to embrace our emotions because they are the key to our happiness and understanding ourselves fully.

In a book I’ve been reading lately, Dr Elisabeth Kubler-Ross touches on the five “natural” emotions. These are defined as: Grief, Anger, Envy, Fear and Love.

I know what your thinking. “Really? But only one of those emotions seems to be positive!” – it caught me off-guard too. But you have to remember there is no “good” or “bad” – especially when it comes to emotions. You just feel what you feel.

When you scratch the surface to explore the full depth and purpose of these emotions, you might just come to see them a little more clearly for what they are – beautiful tools for cultivating one’s personal development.

After all, it is the repression of these emotions that produces the negative consequences we often wrongly associate to them.

So lets dive in and explore this underworld of emotions:

1. GRIEF
Grief is a natural emotion. It allows you to say goodbye when you don’t want to say goodbye; to express the beauty of the transition between attachment and non-attachment. It allows you to push out and expel the sadness within you when you experience any kind of loss.

Embrace it and feel it fully because when grief is suppressed it becomes chronic depression – a very unnatural emotion.

2. ANGER
Anger is a natural emotion. It allows you to distinguish what you don’t want from what you do. Expressing anger isn’t about yelling, kicking, screaming or throwing a tantrum; it’s about saying “no thank you” and providing others with clear feedback as to how they could grow. In this way, it is a powerful ingredient in promoting intimacy throughout relationships.

Embrace it and feel it fully because when anger is suppressed it becomes rage – a very unnatural emotion.

3. ENVY
Envy is a natural emotion. It makes you want to try again and try harder; to continue striving until you succeed. In short, it helps you to figure out what you want in life and encourages you to claim your full potential.

Embrace it and feel it fully because when envy is suppressed it becomes jealousy and insecurity – both very unnatural emotions.

4. FEAR
Fear is a natural emotion. It offers contrast, risk and challenge, making the game of life that little bit more interesting. It also provides us with a degree of caution to keep the body alive. Essentially it is an outgrowth of love; love of the self.

Embrace it and feel it fully because when fear is suppressed it becomes anxiety, panic and worry – all very unnatural emotions.

5. LOVE
Love is a natural emotion. It is our way of saying thank you and expressing our gratitude for our existence. It is the essence of life and should be expressed without condition, limitation, inhibition or embarrassment.

Embrace it and feel it fully because when love is suppressed it becomes possessiveness – a very unnatural emotion.