LESS EGO / MORE SOUL

Perhaps true unconditional love is the ability to love oneself (or another) despite – not because of – one’s blessings.

Without the things you love about yourself, who would you be?

To the same extent, without your failures who would you be?

What does it mean to love someone despite their blessings?

To not take into account “why” you love them?

To love for no reason?

To not-love?

Notes to self:

Stop trying to impress yourself.

Okay is what you are.

See how you are trying to win the love of your higher self through creating a particular image of “who” you are?

This is the core of the ego.

And yet your higher-self, the one you seek to please, is the observer, smiling down at you with love no matter what you choose to do as you experience the human condition – man’s search for  meaning, for reason, for acceptance.

You have nothing to prove.

My truth is simple; I am alive.

The thing I feared most happened. Now I laugh; it’s not so bad.

As humans we fear as we seek to avoid pain and suffering.

But pain is a powerful teacher, and suffering is optional.

In any given moment, we are faced with multiple possibilities of interpreting the present situation.

No-one and no-thing has the power to make our lives “good” or “bad” and we alone are responsible for our own happiness.

“In an relativistic universe you don’t cling to anything. Instead, you learn to swim.”

- A Watts.

The heart loves unconditionally.

It beats no matter our choices.

We don’t really know why.

It just does.

And regardless of the path we choose to walk,

And despite all of the shitty things we do,

It continues to beat to the best of its ability.

Therefore, the heart does not judge.

It is the silent witness of our existence,

Observing our actions,

Rolling with the punches.

Beating us to life,

So that we may experience our choices.

And when the heart does cease to beat,

It is not through distain or revenge,

But the consequence

Of a blind existence.

Where we refuse to acknowledge,

What can be observed.

Where we refuse to discriminate,

Between what strengthens

And what weakens;

What ultimately serves us

And what does not.

Imagine living in a culture where magic exists, where spirits are commonly communed with, where to understand the fullness of what is really happening all around you, you must drop all preconceptions and open your eyes – really wide.

Well, that’s where I’m off to on Tuesday; into the heart of the Peruvian jungle, to walk the line between the visible and invisible. I’ll be on an ayahuasca retreat and then off to Brazil to rejuvenate.

In the meantime I’ve been reading the incredible experiences of Peter Gorman in his book Ayahuasca in My Blood and it’s blowing my mind.