LESS EGO / MORE SOUL

People will give up almost anything to become enlightened. Anything that is, except the idea that they are not yet enlightened.

We were born enlightened. And then we chose to forget.

Why? Because we love a challenge; love a game; love an opportunity to explore – it makes us feel alive.

Many of us like the idea of becoming enlightened, however, as alluring as it may be, it is also deathly frightening.

There is an old well-known tale about a man who approaches a Zen Master and asks to be shown the path to enlightenment.

“Okay, follow me,” the Master replies, and leads the man to a nearby river and into the water.

Without warning the Master pushes the man’s head beneath the rushing river and holds it there as he struggles violently for his life. Just before he loses consciousness the Master pulls the man up, gasping for air.

“When you want to be enlightened as badly as you want to take your next breath, just now, comeback and see me,” says the Master.

This parable poses the question: Do you really yearn to become enlightened more than life itself?

A friend of mine pointed out in a conversation over the weekend, that the more we become ‘enlightened’ the more vulnerable we are to becoming depressed. I see his point. After all, it can be a pretty lonely path to wander, where one is often judged and misunderstood. And, as one begins to see through the illusions that our current society is based upon, we are often left with an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness.

Another aspect of the division that also holds us back is our own reluctance to claim our own personal power. After all, it is not the fear of failure that scares our ego most – but often, the fear of success. For then who would we be? What would we seek? And what kind of overwhelming responsibility would the claiming of our own infinite power entail?

This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t seek personal or spiritual growth; but the caveat here is that many seem to view enlightenment as the final destination. Following this view, we might find ourselves projecting on to it our hopes that ‘if only I were enlightened, I could really be a good person and be happy’.

Once we stop viewing enlightenment in this way, we can begin to enjoy the journey of self-exploration as it should be – without obligation or ambition.

And the best part is, there is no need to ‘give up’ anything. After all, true enlightenment does not come from depriving ourselves from our vices, but from letting go of that which no longer serves you when the time is right.

The difference here is that you will “set aside these things as a child sets aside toys. Not because they are unworthy, but because you have outgrown them.”

In the meantime, try not to judge yourself for taking pleasure in the material world.

You’re only human after all.

Surrender your soul to the waters of time

The truth that all is transient

Floating freely down the canal to rebirth

Cling to nothing; but delight in the ride

The truth is discovered now

Naked and bare

Raw to the eyes of the blind

The discovery

Of what it feels to be free

Unburdened

Not wet yet nor dry

Exist in this space

As you dwell in this place

Let feelings guide your reactions

For nothing is right

And nothing is wrong

Spare the truth of your own moral compass

Remember now

What you knew all along

The truth

Your soul

Is now opened

And with no remorse

Abandon your thoughts

And live freely

On instinct and feeling.

I’m learning to embrace anger – particularly in relationships.

During a sound healing at ConFest, I began to feel something foreign bubble up. It felt uncomfortable and icky.

Turns out, it was years of suppressed anger – the ancient resentment I’d hid within the depths of me as I’d somehow come to believe that such emotions were unworthy of expression.

This left me confused and shocked – I’d turned up to the sound healing to relax and to meditate. Where were these feelings coming from?

‘I’m not an angry person’ I told myself in my confusion. It wasn’t until some wise guy posed the question:

‘Really? Or is it that you don’t want to be an “angry person” because you don’t think that anger is a useful emotion?’

That stopped me in my tracks and flipped my world on its head.

‘Ooh…yeah. Maybe.’ I replied, albeit a little perplexed.

Since, I’ve been exploring the value of anger and how to express it in a healthy way.

Forgiveness is divine, yes. But to forgive fully, we must first acknowledge our anger.

I cringe at the thought of all those times I am guilty in suppressing my anger in the name of peace. I guess I hated the idea of being seen as ‘that angry bitch’.

But contrary to my own stereotype of what expressing anger looks like – it’s not about yelling, kicking, screaming or throwing a tantrum.

Rather,

It’s about feeling what you feel, without judgment.

It’s about asserting to others what you need from them (and rarely does someone get angry unreasonably).

And, it’s also about self-love: recognizing that you are worthy of more and rising above any fear of rejection – that the other will leave you for being less than compliant.

There is no excuse for other people’s bad behaviour and if we fail to express our pain, hurt, frustration or fury we fail to provide others with the feedback they need to grow.

When you express your anger in a healthy way, you’re essentially providing the other with insight – and, should they choose to listen, an opportunity for them to grow into a better person.

So embrace anger with passion. Declare your truth. Ask for what you need.

Fearless self-development.

It’s an infinite spiral staircase, with no real beginning and no real end.

The infinite can be both overwhelming and liberating.

When recognized, it forces us to accept wherever it is on the staircase we are.

It brings us to stop ‘trying’ to get somewhere and instead, embrace the present moment.

Sometimes I feel like I’m going in circles as I find myself making the same “mistakes” over again. The scenery is the same and the incline is subtle. I wonder why life has brought me back here. “I thought I was beyond all this,” I say to myself, frustrated.

I forget that the journey is the destination.

A spiral is a symbol of evolution. It’s in our DNA. Sometimes we need to experience that which we are not in order to know that which we are. Often, this involves trying things over and over before we fully come to realise what serves us and what ultimately does not. Evolution is a process. It takes time and patience, but most of all, courage.

Courage, to expand and to move beyond that which is already illuminated.

Courage to question our conditioning and let go of turning to external sources for guidance.

Courage to surrender to the unknown.

Courage is where the ascension begins.

Society has its shortcuts. Most of the time we are conditioned to delight in the preferences of the majority; we are encouraged to fit in and to play it safe.

When we decide to climb the staircase of fearless self-development we become great explorers. We open to life and seek new experiences to reflect on. We also take notes as we discover what weakens and what strengthens our connection with our soul.

Eventually you find yourself ignoring the external triggers that led you away from your soul to begin with, recognizing them for what they are: just other people’s preferences.

This is the art of “self-discipline” – finding the confidence within to discriminate between your truth and others.

Now self-discipline can be quite an interesting topic. Often we tend to associate it with restraint/deprivation/sacrifice/missing out/ and saying “no” when what we really want to say is “yes”.

But, I’d like to offer an alternative view as defined be my friend Laura:

“Self-discipline arises in response to recognizing and desiring to seize your own divinity.”

So, the Mexican Toltecs have this practice called recapitulation. It involves reviewing the experiences throughout one’s life in order to liberate one’s self from the bind of the ego.

They do this by reliving their interactions with others, breathing rhythmically, and fanning their heads from left to right.

With each exhale, any remaining negative energy is released. With each inhale they reclaim any of their own energy left behind during the event.

Meanwhile, the mind examines the situation – the motives of all involved and the emotions that were provoked as a result of the interaction. This provides insight and the opportunity for a more evolved understanding of one’s self, illuminating the works of the ego and allowing one to detach from the expectations and limitations that have resulted from past experiences.

Since I’ve been practicing this kind of meditation I’ve found it to be a kind of euphoric communion with my higher self. It’s also allowed me to explore how past events have led me to react and ‘protect’ myself from reliving the pain of old wounds. This then got me thinking about the stories we tell ourselves of ‘who we are’ based on our past.

Perhaps you’ve experienced a time, where you’ve just found yourself triggered.

You’re cruising along, in a reasonably good mood and then BAM!! someone says something that just throws you off.

You might have been bullied in primary school and a seemingly playful remark hits a soft spot.

Or, you get a call from a parent that for one reason or another pushes your buttons, leaving you agitated and confused.

It might even be as subtle as the way someone touches you or says your name.

Whatever it is, it triggers you and suddenly you find yourself reacting unconsciously and it’s only later that you wonder what caused you to act in such a primal way. These are the energetic blockages that recapitulation seeks to prevent and undo.

In contemplation of this, it’s been interesting to discover how many eastern cultures encourage one to disidentify from their past.

In India, for example, the Yogis are known to renounce all association to their own personal history. They generally don’t ever speak of the stories of their past openly to others, or if they do so, it is often in the form of an unclaimed parable. In this way their experiences stay personal within them, but also merge with the collective experience of humanity outside of them.

It is said that this practice allows them to live more fully in the present – watching life flow by with non-attachment, like water downstream.

While experience can be a very effective teacher, perhaps the real gift of experience comes once we are able to learn the lesson and then let go of the story with non-attachment.

After all, it is through letting go that we release ourselves from the bind of the ego as by clinging to these stories we tend to separate ourselves from others – saying “look what I did” or “look at what was done to me”. If we are not conscious, we may even subconsciously manipulate these stories in an attempt to establish credibility and power over others.

Ever found yourself replaying a particular interaction in your head over and over?

You might have tried to consciously move on, but for one reason or another your mind just isn’t ready to drop it. Often this is because there is a lesson to be learned or an insight to be gained.

Recapitulation invites one to get to know themselves – the good, the bad and the ugly. Taking this one step further, it helps one to realize the big picture and rise above their everyday egoic pursuits.

It teaches the user to be aware of themselves, without defining themselves by the stories of their past. Because when we define ourselves by our past we sell ourselves short, limiting our potential to grow and to conquer.

Let go of these stories and you unlock the gate to your soul, leaving the future wide open for you to claim your own version of world domination.

“Any experience which makes you feel like such-and-such a sort of person is by default an ego-based experience as it is something which traps you within a cage of self definition.”

- Unknown

If you subscribe to the egoic view of life – that you are in control of your experience (rather than God or fate) – one must come to accept that they have created all their suffering and all their struggle. This then provokes the question: Why?

Well here’s the thing: I know that by anyone’s standards I lead a blessed life. I am lucky to live in such a beautiful country, in a beautiful home, with a family that loves me and a solid group of amazing friends. But who would I be if my ‘blessed’ external experiences were all that shaped me?

It is the struggle in my life that has led me to remember myself; who I am and what I came for; what I have and what I ache for.

Adversity is our strongest teacher. Many others have experienced physical adversity, leading them to grow and evolve. Many who were faced with external adversity also looked at me saying that I had it too easy.

Feeling dislocated, I unconsciously created pain and suffering for myself in order to fit in. But the divinity of the situation goes deeper than this. While at first it did just appear to grow from the desire to belong, I can now expand to see that it was also always about having the experiences I needed to push me to grow.

On that note, I know that many spiritual beliefs preach that suffering is unnecessary. And in a way it is unnecessary – as in, it’s a choice of perspective. But this does not mean that suffering is not an important part of the human experience. Rather, suffering offers a divine platform of self-realization– a challenge to which the accomplishment of passing through adversity provides the reward of remembering who we are and why we are here, which ultimately feels euphoric.

We see this reflected in the stories of many great leaders; that their ability to live a life of integrity and wisdom is often the result of their own encounters with adversity – external and internal. Because without the struggle there is no challenge; no risk; no game; no fun and no opportunity for expansion.