LESS EGO / MORE SOUL

Last week I had the privilege of both witnessing and participating in the manifestation of an event of a lifetime. Inspired to help support the healthcare of sick, orphaned children in Israel, a friend of mine – lets call him Al – put together a DIY fundraiser.

Over the course of two weeks, what started as a “nice idea” became a full-blown reality. This was manifestation at its best.

Hailing from Brazil, Al had bought with him Ayahuasca, the sacred medicine of South America. His idea was to put on a three-day retreat that exemplified a really high-quality way of life. His vision included three days of workshops on nutrition, yoga, healing, sweat lodges and medicine ceremonies. As he began to discuss his vision with others, inspiration took on momentum and it was not long before many came together to help make it happen.

Land was donated for the week, along with infrastructure to make shelters, compost toilets, showers, a kitchen, sweat-lodge and ceremonial space.  Food was donated by each of the 200 participants who came through over the three day period. This assured an abundance of nourishing wholefoods. Healers, yoga teachers, storytellers, an NLP guru and even a magician came together to share their crafts. The result was three days of deep spiritual work, and I can tell you now, it really has changed my life.

The whole event was run entirely by donation, and by the end of it all, 25,000 Israeli shekels were collected - all of which went straight to the children. The fact that such an epic event came together in such a short period of time, (and based entirely on donation!) is a truly inspiring example of collaboration. Add to that the intense healing that benefited all participants, makes this a fundraiser “pure genius” in my books.

The Sweat Lodge…

On the first evening, I joined 40 others to partake in the first sweat.  “We come together in this womb to pray together and our prayers are the songs that we sing…” said Matias, the facilitator, as he opened the ceremony. He was an interesting character with long brown dreads, clear blue eyes and a muscly body, heavily tattooed in sacred geometric symbols. A stranger may have been intimidated by his stature and alternative image, but when you heard him speak, his words were so full of love – his kindness undeniable. “Family is everything and the children are our future, and let us not forget that we are all children at our essence…” he reminded us.

One by one, we each held our hands towards the fire before crawling beneath the low ceiling of the makeshift cave. Inside we sat shoulder-to-shoulder loosely holding knees to chest. The women sat on the right, the men to the left. In the centre of the lodge was a dirt pit. One by one the stones were taken from the fire outside and gently stacked in the pit.

The smell of cedar filled the air as it seared upon the rocks. Once the entrance was closed, everything became dark. Voices hung loosely in the air, without bodies to ground them. We were no longer individuals, but a metaphor for disembodied consciousness. As the heat gently wrapped its warmth around me, I welcomed the steam into every cell of my body. It was comforting and I felt safe to melt into the darkness without having to project any self image. In the dark, I could pull any face I wanted, feel happy or feel sad, smile or cry, without worrying about being “appropriate” in the moment. In the dark, my feelings were mine to feel. Matias began to sing, shaking his rattle to the tune, heya heya heya heaya ho… Gradually more voices joined united in the darkness, improvising on his melody.

The ceremony was split into four parts, each representing the opening of a spiritual doorway in alignment with each of the four elements. After each segment, the door was re-opened and more hot rocks were added to the centre. After the opening of the third door, we were given the opportunity to share one of our own songs with the group.

Now I love to sing, but I can still have a lot of blockages when it comes to singing in front of others – especially acapella. Despite my inhibitions, I figured here, in the dark was the best time to conquer this fear. Though it took several false starts, I eventually found my voice, singing a simple portugese medicine song that I had learnt while traveling around South America.

Com suas flores, limpe o meu coração

Com tuas águas limpas a minha alma

Hey mama…hey mama Oxun.

This song is a prayer to the water goddess, Mother “Oshun” and roughly translates to “with your flowers, cleanse my heart, with your waters, cleanse my soul.”

I had hoped others would be familiar with the tune and sing with me. In fact, my biggest fear was that I would be left to sing alone. So guess what? This fear was quickly realised. It seems to be true – that which we fear, we become. Nonetheless, fighting my ego, I  continued to sing the song a few more rounds until, gradually more voices joined me.

When the third door was opened, a crystal jug of water was blessed and then passed around the circle.  More prayers were sung, more sweat released, and two hours later, we emerged together, dizzy beneath the moonlight.

The whole experience was intensely spiritual. Much more real than any other (non-psychadelic) religious ceremony I have experienced. Before the sweat, Matias told us “this is where we come to pray,”  and I get it now, I really do. However, prior to entering this sacred womb, I didn’t really have a reference point for what true prayer is particularly as I never connected to this idea of prayer as “asking God for stuff…”

In the hot, damp, darkness, sit bones in the mud, I realised that prayer is really about coming together, celebrating life and surrendering to the discomfort as the mundanities of day to day living dissolve. Singing together is a powerful way to pray and I am learning more and more every day about the spiritual power of music. It blows my mind.

Overall, this whole experience left me wondering why it took me so long to brave the heat and darkness, considering the numerous opportunities I’ve had to participate in sweats around the world. Contrary to my apprehension, the  perceived suffering of the mind is nothing compared to the benefits I reaped, because when I sweat, I find my answers.

…To be continued…