LESS EGO / MORE SOUL

I dive far and deep into the swimming pool and resurface beneath the sun. I’d rather be swimming in the wild somewhere, where the water isn’t treated with chemicals – somewhere that I don’t need to worry about being found naked in my own backyard by another family member or a gardener.

Its not so much the fact that they might see me naked that causes me to be concerned – I am quite comfortable in my earth body alone or with others. No, it’s the fact that other people make it weird. I know this because I’ve been “caught” before – I laughed while they blushed and backed away, afraid to see me exposed as human – just like them. I long for the day when there is sufficient  context in our society so that a naked body does not need to be sexualized.

I look at the artificially clear water and laugh at yet another example of our culture attempting to control our environment. We swim in swimming pools so we can see the bottom; so we can know with certainty who or what we are swimming with. So we know for sure that we won’t be attacked by a shark or stung by a jellyfish because we don’t really know how to share our space with other wild animals. Such an upbringing led me to fear swimming in natural environments for far too long. Exposure was the only remedy.

This brings me to fear.

Fear is incredibly attractive, just not in any way that you’d want it to be. It’s magnetic in the sense that it’s fueled by our thoughts and emotions which are key ingredients for manifesting. But what is the purpose of fear being so damn creative when it ultimately leads to pain and suffering?

It’s as if Life is challenging us, whispering: live through this, as we are bought to face our fears, one by one.

Life’s message is simple: There is nothing to be afraid of. By experiencing our fears first hand, we are given the opportunity to realize that pain is never as debilitating or painful as we tend to expect. As the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali state, if you are not your mind, nor your body, who feels the pain?

With this in mind, both fear and pain become potential keys to seeing through the delusionary nature of the everyday world. Yet, the more our culture seeks to control our environment in an effort to minimize the risk of pain (as if it could ever be separated from life itself) the more our fears become augmented and attractive.

Fear breeds tragedy, yet with fear, we are shown not to fear.

Acknowledge the state of your physical body (the sacred vessel of your spirit) as a symbolic sculpture of the life you lead.

If you love your life then why not worship your body – whatever its size, whatever its shape?

Regardless of where it fits in cotrast to society’s view of beauty and ideals, if life feels good then change your perceptions to embrace its unique perfection.

And, if life feels bad change your existence – not to meet the expectations of others, or emulate what is sold as a valuable depiction of “success”.

No, change it to meet your soul’s yearning for love, for connection, for joy, for contentment, for exploration, for thrills and  for memories of delicious moments well spent.

Because life is supposed to feel good and who could ever definitively judge what a feeling looks like?

We tell ourselves lies: “if only I was ______, then I could be happy.”

Recognise that your quality of life would actually be no better; albeit perhaps a little less weighed down by your crying consciousness and the judgement that governs these lies.

When you were a child you never thought this way.

You’ve been conditioned to believe that you are not enough and after so many years you’re now using these lies as excuses; because you would find it too uncomfortable to actually cross the finish line.

What would you do with all that power; with all that responsibility?

Ignore the lies and focus on being happy first. Then decide if what you wanted was really ever that important.

Perhaps the biggest thing that Ayahuasca has taught me is that I am okay – no matter what I do. No matter who I choose to be.

And a big part of my first ceremony was focused on confronting this fear that I am not enough or that I might not live this life well enough.

Lying in the darkness, unsure of what to expect, I felt overwhelmed with anxiety. I desperately wanted someone to tell me what was happening; what I should do and that I was okay. But as I battled with my fear and confusion, I realized that in life there will never (and should never) be anyone around to tell you what to do or that you are good, bad or okay.

Instead, we must learn to trust ourselves and make our own decisions wholeheartedly.

If we can accept this, we accept life’s offer to explore this universe fully and experience expansion through our choices, whatever they may be.

I’ve recently been learning that no matter the conditions I still have the ability – the choice – to feel good about myself…and about life. The hard part, however, is often finding one’s way through all the darkness…and letting go of the illusionsof the external world; the illusions that at times we should fee bad for ourselves…hate ourselves…punish ourselves…

Not true.

If I can find a moment, maybe once a week, to go outside and stare up at the vast night’s sky, I can’t help but feel love for this existence. Just the fact that our hearts are beating and our lungs are breathing; that we are free and alive, with the potential to experience such an array of sensations, feelings and events, is enough to fill a heat with gratitude.

The first step is to overcome one’s fear of death.

The second, to overcome one’s fear of pain.

The third, to overcome ones fear of love, and to embrace love fully.

You have to risk your life to feel your life.

You have to risk your heart to feel your heart.

But when risking, you may choose to realise that you really have nothing to lose;

that you are complete just as you are.

“The present is lost the moment you begin to think in terms of achieving something.”  - OSHO

I don’t think that means that we shouldn’t try to achieve things in life, but rather, perhaps it goes to say that it is quite normal, or even important, to live some of life outside of the present moment. And yet, in those moments when you are trying to enjoy the present, I think it helps to recognise that you need to let go of your expectations and ambitions.

1. Retire now.
2. Understand that happiness is more important than money and money is more important than power (over). Power over separates; money is a mere vehicle and happiness is what you are truly here for.
3. Ask questions with an open and honest agenda
4. Eat when you are hungry – what you want, when you want / honour your body.
5. Don’t say “I tried” just to look like you are doing something
6. Know that being a good, decent, respectable person does not mean others will see you as weak, unless you buy into that perception.
7. Seek to tell the truth.
8. Don’t commit to engagements you may not keep.
9. Love others and let them know why.
10. Enjoy being the best “you” that you can be.
11. Be satisfied with enough.
12. Don’t complain to manipulate.
13. Enjoy your own company & make time for yourself.
14. Question the world; write your own answers.

YOU ARE ALIVE SO LIVE.

I enjoy life and its many pleasures without guilt.

I surrender to pleasure.

I am present in this moment.
Now. Here. NOWHERE.

I can live with the uncertain, be spontaneous and surrender to the unknown. In this way I invite in the magick of life.

I realise the perfection in enough. I am satisfied with less. I enjoy all things in moderation.

I let go of my obsessions, the stories of my past.

I am present. I am interested in you. I am here to hear your story.

I laugh, I smile, I live, I love, I spread peace, love and light contagiously.

I am generous, whether you appreciate it or not.

I am the master of my mind, the conductor of my body, the friend of my soul.

I accept myself. I forgive myself. I love myself.

I am a passionate lover. I sing and I dance unashamedly as I express my joy.

I see through the maya, letting go of unnecessary thoughts.

I travel lightly, I tread lightly on this earth, honouring the source with each step.

I am open to all teachings of the collective wisdom of the universe.

I recognise failure as an illusion.

I am honest.

I am that.
I am I.
I am also you, he, she and it.
We are all one.

LESS HUMAN / MORE BEING

LESS EGO /  MORE SOUL

NAMASTE

Without the contrast the road would not be worth traveling…

Lost opportuinities are what they are. But, dont dwell on what is lost my child. The world is abundant. Chances will come again and again as the circle continues to turn.

Let go of your past; the stories you continue to hold on to. You place far to much meaning on your past.

You are now.
You are here.
You are nothing outside of this moment.

Knowing this, let go of your future, (if only for a moment).
The wishing, the wanting, the restless desire that keeps you from being happy now.
Be happy now.

Life is in the present moment. The sounds, imagery, sensations, tastes and smells that surround you. You are  everything and you are nothing; a wealth of possibilities.

Understand that there is no definitive you. You are the inexplainable; undefinable because you are not a static entity.  Rather, you are an ever changing, moving, (groovin’), evolving experiencer.

You are alive and you exist. That’s about as close as you will ever get to a comprehensive description of yourself.

Embrace this truth and the freedom it entails.

For if you are nothing and everything you have no name to live up to.

So let your guard down knowing that you simply are what you are.