LESS EGO / MORE SOUL

If there is one thing that life has taught me; its that teachers come in many, many forms and it is often those we fail to recognize, that have the most to offer us.

In fact, I’ve come to realise that the best teachers are the ones that disappoint your expectations at the end of the day, as they demonstrate their own mortality.

This, for a few reasons:

1)   Disappointment is a great teacher in itself. It encourages us to consider and reflect on our own expectations and projections which ultimately nurture suffering.

It also provides us with an opportunity to expand or contract.

To expand in this instance, would mean to evaluate, the teachings of that sage while holding on to their insights that you know feel true for you.

To contract however, would be to discredit all their wisdom, purely because they have not lived up to your holy image of them.

When we can hold space for our own disappointment, we grow and breakthrough the limitations of our expectations. In this way, we clear space for more opportunities.

2)   When a teacher or guru “disappoints” our highest expectations, through recognizing them as human (just like us), we are able to reclaim our own power and understand that we are the ones we’ve been waiting for; that you are the one you’ve been waiting for.

3)   I don’t believe, “enlightenment” can be taught by a single person and I personally think that any “saint” who lives a life based on rigid tradition is missing the point. Rather, “enlightenment” is absorbed through experience and exposure to a vast range of views. It comes from sifting through information and learning to discriminate between that which ultimately serves you and that which does not. After all, it is by reflecting on our interactions that real growth happens.

To consume information mindlessly, is pointless. When we find a truth and consciously seek to implement it in our daily life, we may struggle and contradict ourselves, but it is this journey that provides us with the understanding necessary to sustainably evolve.

A great example of this, is when one begins to explore and contrast the many religions out there. Personally I am not a fan of dogma and I recoil at the thought of a God who should be feared, however, I can still recognize and appreciate the nuggets of truth that are embedded in all religions.

The trick is to learn to discriminate between the “gospel” and that which feels true for you – and from those latter insights build your own religion.

- Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

Q: Who am I?

A: Who cares?

People often ask me what K.A.P.L.O. stands for.

Time to reaveal the secret…

Each letter corresponds to the 5 steps of manifestation:

K  - Know it

A – Accept it

P – Praise it

L – Love it

and finally,

O – Own it

People often make the mistake in manifesting of ‘asking’ for something. Or worse still, they put a time limit on their hearts desire and give up when it doesn’t appear within such boundries.

The thing about manifestation is that it does not work within our invented perceptions of time and space.

And to ‘ask’ is to voice your uncertainty of the outcome (just as like attracts like, so does fear attract fear).

So use K.A.P.L.O. as a guide.

Say to yourself:

I know ____ is coming…I accept ____ into my reality…I praise ____, it is a beautiful thing…I love ____ – it brings me joy! I own ___ – and visualize yourself engaging with the desired. Repeat the process and when you feel it is time, let go of your fixation, knowing it will find its way to you eventually.

Without the contrast the road would not be worth traveling…

Lost opportuinities are what they are. But, dont dwell on what is lost my child. The world is abundant. Chances will come again and again as the circle continues to turn.

Let go of your past; the stories you continue to hold on to. You place far to much meaning on your past.

You are now.
You are here.
You are nothing outside of this moment.

Knowing this, let go of your future, (if only for a moment).
The wishing, the wanting, the restless desire that keeps you from being happy now.
Be happy now.

Life is in the present moment. The sounds, imagery, sensations, tastes and smells that surround you. You are  everything and you are nothing; a wealth of possibilities.

Understand that there is no definitive you. You are the inexplainable; undefinable because you are not a static entity.  Rather, you are an ever changing, moving, (groovin’), evolving experiencer.

You are alive and you exist. That’s about as close as you will ever get to a comprehensive description of yourself.

Embrace this truth and the freedom it entails.

For if you are nothing and everything you have no name to live up to.

So let your guard down knowing that you simply are what you are.

Awareness is everything. Not just part of it.

Not just some aspect of it. Awareness is everything.

Look, to your awareness, not to your thoughts.

Your thoughts about things can betray you — and often do — because they can be colored by emotions.

Your awareness is not.

Just observe what is so. Then observe what you think about what is so.

Then ask yourself,

“Why am I thinkingthat?”

And, more importantly,

“What would happen if I thought something else?”

-  Neal Donald Walsh

What I am focusing on this week:
Saying “Yes I’ll do it”, when asked to do something.

Not trying to excuse myself by justifying “but I don’t have enough time”. That’s my ego speaking and it’s not doing me any favors.

As the Huna proverb reminds me: energy flows where attention goes, so emphasising how I might be pushed for time is only going to reinforce a time-poor reality.

We all like to think we are time-poor, but nevertheless, some things – like washing the dishes – need to be done.

When I protest, my ego is trying to make out that my time is more important than others. It is not. Anyway, life always seems to work itself out in the end…There is enough time.

I think too,  I’ve been conditioned to “hate” doing certain tasks (like washing the dishes, doing laundry, cleaning etc.) because growing up I’ve seen the people around me avoiding doing these tasks.

I realized, that I don’t actually hate doing these tasks. Rather, when I am doing them I find my self surrendering pretty easily to the moment. It’s a mediation in that sense. Peace.

SO this week I’m experimenting with this idea.  I figure that if I were to accept doing such chores more often and openly, perhaps I’ll find a higher sense of peace and stability in amongst the rushing river of life.

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But when i do the dishes
I run the water very very very hot
And then i fill the sink to the top with bubbles of soap
And then i set all the bottle caps i own afloat
And it’s the greatest voyage in the history of plastic
And then i slip my hands in and start to make waves
And then i dip my tongue in a take a taste
It tastes like soap but it doesn’t realy taste like soap
And then i lower in my whole mouth and take a gulp
…and start to feel mortality sorround me

– Music Box, Regina Spektor

Emotions are a tricky aspect of being human. They are the language of the soul; subtle, elusive and cryptic. Often they defy the rationality of the mind and the logic of our society. While at times this can be scary and confusing we need to learn to embrace our emotions because they are the key to our happiness and understanding ourselves fully.

In a book I’ve been reading lately, Dr Elisabeth Kubler-Ross touches on the five “natural” emotions. These are defined as: Grief, Anger, Envy, Fear and Love.

I know what your thinking. “Really? But only one of those emotions seems to be positive!” – it caught me off-guard too. But you have to remember there is no “good” or “bad” – especially when it comes to emotions. You just feel what you feel.

When you scratch the surface to explore the full depth and purpose of these emotions, you might just come to see them a little more clearly for what they are – beautiful tools for cultivating one’s personal development.

After all, it is the repression of these emotions that produces the negative consequences we often wrongly associate to them.

So lets dive in and explore this underworld of emotions:

1. GRIEF
Grief is a natural emotion. It allows you to say goodbye when you don’t want to say goodbye; to express the beauty of the transition between attachment and non-attachment. It allows you to push out and expel the sadness within you when you experience any kind of loss.

Embrace it and feel it fully because when grief is suppressed it becomes chronic depression – a very unnatural emotion.

2. ANGER
Anger is a natural emotion. It allows you to distinguish what you don’t want from what you do. Expressing anger isn’t about yelling, kicking, screaming or throwing a tantrum; it’s about saying “no thank you” and providing others with clear feedback as to how they could grow. In this way, it is a powerful ingredient in promoting intimacy throughout relationships.

Embrace it and feel it fully because when anger is suppressed it becomes rage – a very unnatural emotion.

3. ENVY
Envy is a natural emotion. It makes you want to try again and try harder; to continue striving until you succeed. In short, it helps you to figure out what you want in life and encourages you to claim your full potential.

Embrace it and feel it fully because when envy is suppressed it becomes jealousy and insecurity – both very unnatural emotions.

4. FEAR
Fear is a natural emotion. It offers contrast, risk and challenge, making the game of life that little bit more interesting. It also provides us with a degree of caution to keep the body alive. Essentially it is an outgrowth of love; love of the self.

Embrace it and feel it fully because when fear is suppressed it becomes anxiety, panic and worry – all very unnatural emotions.

5. LOVE
Love is a natural emotion. It is our way of saying thank you and expressing our gratitude for our existence. It is the essence of life and should be expressed without condition, limitation, inhibition or embarrassment.

Embrace it and feel it fully because when love is suppressed it becomes possessiveness – a very unnatural emotion.

I do my thing, and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.
Frederick E. Perl

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I think asking yourself ‘would I’ rather than ‘should I’ is a much more honest approach to life. Everyone does things that they think they shouldn’t; who sets the standards of what is ‘acceptable’ anyway? ‘Should’ is mildly irrelevant to say the least. ‘Would’ is the raw truth. It’s liberating. It’s comfort in you’re individuality. It’s asking of yourself to be you, not what others want of you or expect of you.

I just wanted to put out there a collection of thoughts (some my own, some others) that I feel are really great reminders of how life should be lived… Enjoy.

The questions that should always be asked:

• What is the highest choice?
• What did you learn today?
• What did that person teach you?

“Our lives are made rich by reaching out to others, not by surrounding ourselves with a boundary of no.” (Pleasure, an Almanac for the Heart)

Live with confidence and joy – When life gets hard, laugh and smile.

Listen to your heart, let go, allow the universe to guide you and enjoy the dignity in walking away. (Pleasure, an Almanac for the Heart)

Act with spontaneous, joyous generosity, aim to never say a bad thing about another. (Pleasure, an Almanac for the Heart)

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” – Eleanor Rosevelt

Surround yourself by people who make you feel good

“To be truly free, you have to forget about what others think of you” (Pleasure, an Almanac for the Heart)

Want people. Don’t need them.

Celebrate sexuality freely; everything you do should be for you. Sex is not dirty.

To live life without expectation – without the need for specific results is freedom. All goods can be yours and all goods belong to the world. Nothing is ever lost. (Neale Donald Walsch – CWG) 

“You miss 100 percent of the shots that you don’t take.” Fear nothing. (Bob Isherwood)

You underestimate yourself, your beauty, your image to the world.

Speak with confidence – articulate your words, stand tall and follow your instincts. Give people more to read. If you are true to yourself, that is able to speak your personal truths “quietly but clearly”, even if people do not agree with you, they will respect and admire your honesty and openness.

Its OKAY to change your mind.

suffering is always the result of what we feel we have lost. (Neal Donald Walsch CWG)

Share your ideas with generosity & warmth, express yourself, use every opportunity to create and display to the world Who You Are. Never regret or feel guilty. Put yourself out there without fear of other’s reaction. You don’t need to “be” anything and you don’t need to justify your actions.

For, can you think of a better way to live?